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Not too long ago I was in a couple's therapy session with my lovely therapist, Janell. I had no idea what was about to happen to me. As I sat there my entire body felt flooded with emotion that I learned, long ago, to keep inside, to not let anyone see, to not be vulnerable, to not show weakness. I couldn't control what happened. Tears filled my eyes while my chest tightened and I could barely speak. No one was ready for what erupted from me. I hadn't been thinking about guil

My main childhood abuser has never admitted that she was abusive to me. As a matter of fact, for many years she had my children convinced that I was crazy, that I made it all up, that I manufactured my experiences. Most of my children believed her because after I finally cut that toxic cord in 2010, my abuser decided to befriend my ex-husband and his wife (who, by the way, my abuser used to despise). Anyway, they had the grandest of times talking about my evil ways and my chi

When I was growing up I had no idea what it was like to feel truly loved except by my father's mother, and that closeness was removed when I was only 3 years old when my family moved from Elyria, Ohio to Hammond, Indiana. I rarely saw my grandmother after that, but it didn't mean I didn't love her or that I didn't know that she still loved me. What it meant was that I didn't get to feel loved by anyone because even though my father did show me some affection, he was devoured

While I am creating the weekly SIHPs, I write about other trauma responses, especially the 'fawn' response, which many people may not know about. Usually we hear "fight, flight, freeze", right? Psychotherapist and Complex PTSD expert Pete Walker is the person who came up with this term and its definition. Fawning refers to people who try to appease or please their abuser as a response to the abuse. I am absolutely and will never be someone who fawns. I'm not suggesting that

Because I am a victim of emotional abuse, I can quickly recognize it in other relationships. I'm a keen observer of verbal and non-verbal cues from others that show me they're an abuser and when other people tell me their own stories of living with an emotional abuser (which is usually a parent when the person is still a minor or a young adult), it is very difficult for me to deal with it because I want to help fix it. That's just my nature and I can't help it. There are more

If I told you how many doctors I have seen, how many diagnoses I've been given, how many prescriptions I've tried, how many confused healthcare professionals I have faced, you'd be shocked. I am sure of it. Right now, at my age, I'm dealing with chronic pain, mostly in my joints, and tendons that are so frayed that they can snap, and have snapped, causing pain I absolutely cannot describe to you. I didn't realize until I read the book "The Body Keeps The Score" that the reaso

This photo was taken some years ago at a motorcycle rally for women riders in Milwaukee, WI. Part of me is a rebellious badass... but there's also a part of me that's still a terrified little girl who has to try to control everything around her because she cannot allow chaos and unpredictability to take hold. I've always wanted to make a difference. I've always dreamed about changing the world and so far I've done it by improving the learning experiences of tens of thousands