This is all really scary for me

This photo was taken some years ago at a motorcycle rally for women riders in Milwaukee, WI. Part of me is a rebellious badass... but there's also a part of me that's still a terrified little girl who has to try to control everything around her because she cannot allow chaos and unpredictability to take hold.

I've always wanted to make a difference. I've always dreamed about changing the world and so far I've done it by improving the learning experiences of tens of thousands college students by teaching their professors how to be better teachers. While that is fulfilling work, it's not the type of change I felt pulled toward. After some deep reflection, I realized that the change that needed to be done involved the invisible scars I have from chronic emotional abuse and because of my long journey and refusal to be broken by anyone, I have a lot to teach people about emotional abuse, what it looks like, feels like, sounds like, what it does to people long-term, how to avoid perpetuating it, and more. I want to see laws change because, once my memoir is published, you will likely feel revulsion about how the system failed me repeatedly. I was begging for rescue; no one cared because I didn't have visible bruises.

Because of this newly-realized motivation, I finished the memoir revision and am currently reaching out to literary agents about my memoir, Beer in my Bottle. I've started on a whole new type of journey and it's scary. I'm putting myself out there. I'm putting my everything out there, at least the first 22 years of my life, which is what is covered in the memoir.

And this website... the Instagram account... I guess even if not a single agent wants to take a chance on me, a mother of 5, Gammy of 3, life-long educator who's kind of a nobody in the scheme of things, then at least I have the Project, and I hope I can help people on their own journey toward healing and understand the devastating effects of emotional abuse, how to reverse the damage done and, most importantly, how to NOT cause the same damage to others. Break the cycle, folks, break the cycle!