July 9 was a random Thursday. It just so happened to be a day that I decided I wanted to start a social media campaign for the Still I Heal Project. I started an Instagram account a month or so before, but it really wasn't what I wanted to do. So, I regrouped, learned from some experts about what worked on social media and just gave it a go.

I started a TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube account that day. My Instagram followers were just a few hundred. I set a goal to get 3 videos created and posted every day for 30 days. After 30 days I had close to 150 of them. Yeah, I'm a total overachiever. But, it was exciting for me so I kept wanting to do it.

Here's what happened. It was slow going on TikTok, but Instagram took off quickly. Then, something weird happened and Facebook took off about the 20 day mark and hasn't quit gaining followers, comments, and interactions. At the 40 day mark I was at over 11,000 followers on Facebook, nearly 6000 on Instagram, less than 2000 on TikTok and way less than that on YouTube.

I am interacting with these people and very quickly I realized something sobering. So many people are victims of childhood emotional abuse. So many people are victims of emotional abuse by their romantic partners. So many children grew up in horrible environments and they're carrying that trauma into adult relationships and their own parenting.

Trauma sticks like slime. It's difficult to remove and stains everything. People have been telling me their stories, like being a caretaker for their entire family while still in grade school. Watching parents physically abuse each other, protecting their siblings, being told they weren't wanted and were a burden to their families. There are families where one child is treated like a prince and the other children are beaten without cause. There are so many situations of substance abuse and diabolical emotional terrorism. It has been done to CHILDREN across the globe and so many people still carry the trauma in their bodies and nervous systems.

I have had someone tell me, "Wow, 15 years of therapy didn't create such clarity for me as your two minute video has." I've had people thanking me profusely for giving them words for experiences they couldn't understand. I have had tearful responses from victims who don't know how to walk away from a family that continues to demean, humiliate, manipulate, and control them. No one has ever told them that they could. Someone else said, "I am in tears. Thank you for your valuable knowledge."

Then, as I neared the 10,000 follower number, people began posting very angry and violent posts on my channels. Here are some examples.

"So what the hell happened to you? What sort of cheap fraud are you?" Same guy later, "this sick FRAUD is really psychologically disturbed. She is dangerous and if she were a member of a professional body, she should be reported."

Many of the comments come from the videos where I encourage people to walk away from their families if they have experienced chronic emotional abuse and they've expressed their hurt, have asked it to stop, and they're mocked and/or ignored. Here's one person's reply, "You are now on the list of unethical counselors [I'm not a counselor, by the way, and said as much]. This is akin to an amputation of a leg or arm. And you promote it as a viable solution for safety?"

Same person, later, "you are promoting devastation by changing the definition of abuse from beatings to saying 'I don't think that color looks good on you'. It is MORE THAN DESPICABLE." And, again, the same person later, "You are an unkind individual. I am representing tens of thousands of individuals you are hurting while promoting self-centered egoism."

I have had other comments that are too vulgar to repeat on a blog like this. I have been called nasty names that would make a biker blush. But, if I am honest, the good has far outweighed the bad. I will admit I did not at all expect a backlash of this magnitude. After all, I am putting myself out there for the world in all of my imperfect glory, as a victim of complex PTSD, that includes many forms of child abuse and adult emotional abuse. It's not easy work to do this and it feels very... vulnerable. I suffer from imposter syndrome like many professionals with significant trauma feel and angry people hiding behind their screens make it even more difficult.

I'm no quitter, though, and I surely do not back down. I never have and never will. I know this is my calling, to take all of my pain and make purpose out of it, to spread the word and inform people how to raise emotionally healthy children, how to avoid perpetuating generational cycles of abuse, how to treat other people respectfully, how to avoid common communication techniques that tear people apart instead of bring people together, and how to recognize survival strategies and choose to do things differently as an adult.

I'm just getting started. So much more is about to happen; I can feel it. In the meantime I am staying as active as I can on my social media channels. I will include those below. I'm also writing some guides for people in language that's easy to understand and the information is based upon research in this field. Find those under Resources on my website. Thanks for reading and I hope to see you one day soon commenting on a Still I Heal Project video!

TikTok: @still_i_heal_proj

Facebook: @still_i_heal_project

Instagram: @still_i_heal_project